I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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