Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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