Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
