morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
