Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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