I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
