I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
