pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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