Kiss
Puke
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
zippers are such a cool invention
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
