Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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