SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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