hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
