erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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