We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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