I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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