Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
