quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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