nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
