so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
