just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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