You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize