Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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