There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize