I'm jealous of your bromance
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
