I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
