I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize