its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
