elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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