He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Randomize
