She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
