Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
