Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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