that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
