school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
