I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
