NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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