i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
