You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
