you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
