ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
