she woke up with a sticky ear
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize