White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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