Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
