I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
