You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
