So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
