If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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