so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
