Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
