I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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