She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
