SEEEEXXX PLEASE
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
