We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize