So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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