we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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