yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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