i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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