i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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