haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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