I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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