I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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