I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
