so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
