Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
