her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
MIDGETS
????
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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